A young friend posted pictures of the young ones of her family. I had to compliment and compliment and compliment again (I think that comes from some poem?). As I looked and commented, a fact came to mind that I decided to share. I spoke of how delightful each of these three children, five and under are, how attractive, and how not only were the parents teaching them, but also that the children were teaching the parents. To be sure the recipient didn’t think it was a mistake on my part, I repeated by stating, “Yes, I said they are teaching you. You thought it was the other way around, didn’t you?” Let’s see how I meant that.
A scripture that I
have grown to appreciate so much is Hebrews 12:11 Easy-to-Read Version (ERV)
"We don’t enjoy discipline when we get it. It is painful.
But later, after we have learned our lesson from it, we will enjoy the peace
that comes from doing what is right."
As parents we
discipline our children for some infringement, and then almost before we turn
around, guess what? Oh, you know, don’t you? Tell me, did you pray for
patience? No? Well, neither do I recommend that you do so, unless you feel up to facing
a whole lot stronger temptation than most humans seem to, because for sure you
will have opportunity to gain patience whether or not you request it. Just look
back over your shoulder at the earlier mentioned little incident . .
.uh-h-h…no, make that two incidents, with the third in the making as we speak.
Did we mention parents thought they
were the ones doing the teaching (and they are) but every single time, they,
too, are being taught.
Okay, so here is
the perfect scenario: mom/dad, patience is required to handle each little
persistent person. (Do you wonder how God may be looking at you, His child,
while He is helping you work on your patience through this time?) Yes, please
remember this is an individual with individual needs. If this is your first
child, you have not yet had the same opportunity to have learned that quite as
well as once you have had a second or a third “family unit”! A friend of ours
once told a class in which my husband and I were members, that had he and his
wife had only the first two children, he could have written a book on “How Easy It Is To Raise Children”, but then they
added Child Three and Child Four! Was he
saying families should have no more than two children? Was he saying only two
children guarantee an easy task in raising them? Unh-unh, definitely no! Look
around and see: I can immediately think of one in quite recent years, highly-publicized,
single child jailed male who should be incarcerated for the murder of four
people and may eventually be. One child, or several, is no guarantee in the
ease of child-rearing. There are families in whom the older ones tend to help
nurture the younger with much of what they have learned from listening to
and/or observing their parents. There are children in those families who often
love being cared for by the older ones in such ways and there are others who
rebel against being told how to live and what to do by their siblings. No
guarantees!
You’re likely
thinking (and rightly so), “Yes, but not every child ends up like that incarcerated
one!” So when and where does the difference enter? “He’s just little. He doesn’t
understand.”) Really? (Remember, making excuses is how Eve and Adam started
out!) Okay, make eye contact with a new, and I seriously mean, a new infant. Do
you see how studiously he/she is intent on watching you for moments before
looking away? During those few moments, stick out the tip of your tongue a
noticeable, distance, pull it back in, then repeat, all the while maintaining
eye contact. Can you guess what’s going to happen to this one who is “just
little” and “doesn’t understand”? I’ve tried it and the infant mimics my
actions! Done enough times, I’d think it to become an expected “game”. Since I
learned about such, I’ve not had an infant in my care long enough to try it
repeatedly; however, I have observed infants with parents who persistently talk,
coo, giggle, and smile repetitively at their babies, who have babies who just
as persistently talk, coo, giggle, and smile repetitively right back, sometimes
even introducing the “conversations!
“Too little”? “Too young”? I don’t think so! What a pleasant life-start
to interaction between parents and little ones that eventually becomes a
natural expectation of communication times of learning about one another.
So, the conclusion of the whole matter is
this: while mom and dad have started out with pleasant lessons of
communication, a time is coming when both parent and child must face growing
beyond the bonds of infancy to lessons of discipline. As earlier stated, parents
are also learning the same lessons in discipline as they are teaching, but
having started with pleasant communication, they readied themselves and their
child. They took particular time with their child and now, setting time aside
is again necessary. Is it pleasant?
Hebrews says, not while it’s being taught. Having been on both ends, I’m going
to say it’s not pleasant to have to be either the teacher or the recipient! However, the end result yields what?
Hebrews says, ”Peace comes from doing what is right.” What does “right”
involve? God has set up a pattern: I Corinthians 11:3 But I want you to
understand this: The head of every man is Christ. And the head of a woman is
the man. And the head of Christ is God.” (Another lesson, if you want more than
the simple truth of that statement.) Again, in a family circumstance, does
peace come only to those who have been disciplined? Move ahead ten years from
three children five and under, to three children fifteen and under. Have you observed
teens in real life, read, or heard stories about them - really great youth, and
troubled, too? Which grouping do you see as more truly happy? Children who have
been taught, not only discipline, but also self-discipline (aka: a form of love
of self) or children who have never been taught anything about care/concern for
self or others?
Discipline is a gift
we have been given towards learning obedience, but not simply for peace in our
day-to-day living, although it is certainly a great side effect! Ultimately, discipline is a training ground
for obedience to God, both for ourselves, and thereafter, for our children. How
can we teach them if we ourselves have not learned discipline? We can keep
learning, practicing daily the lessons we have learned that we teach by living,
and striving daily to be more like Jesus. With Jesus, it didn’t just happen
because He lived on earth as the Son of God. Hebrews 5:8 (ERV) tells us, “Jesus
was the Son of God, but he still suffered, and through his sufferings he
learned to obey whatever God says.” Should we not, through pleasure and/or
pain, in the teaching and the learning, “Go, and do likewise”?
© M Sue
With an extra special 'THANK YOU!" to Rebekah and Andrew Blakeman & Family for sharing this photo (by Rebekah) of their beautiful children that was on the FaceBook post where the idea for this article originated.
5-19-2017
